Step 1 – Pivot

We’ll get into the specifics of how to rebuild the bond with your spouse in just a second, and this is why: There’s something even more important we need to focus on first, and that is YOU.

Your mind is probably racing away. It’s hard to concentrate on anything and you’re probably not sleeping well either.

You must pivot mentally and emotionally from the situation because the current place you’re in will only make you more vulnerable and stressed.

Practically, this means stop reading generic blog posts like “The top 7 ways to save a marriage”, which only tell you what you already know and is too general to help anyway.

Have a break from social media and forums because they end up being echo chambers of other bitter and unhappy women, which makes you feel worse.

Take a moment to free up your mind and take a deep slow breath.

This naturally leads us to the next step…

Step 2 – Anchor

Anxiety is caused by uncertainty coupled with feeling out of control.

You can’t control your husband, you can’t force him to change his behavior, and you can’t make him promise to stay if he doesn’t want to.

If he’s been the sole source of certainty in your life, then you’ll be completely devastated.

It’s vitally important right now to anchor yourself with something that gives you a sense of control.  Stay anchored in things that give you a sense of peace and meaning.

For example, set some time every day to meditate and pray.  Set time for self-care and exercise.  Take time to talk to people you love, go for a coffee, go for a walk.  Keep doing the work you love, and keep doing your hobbies.

The key is to stay anchored when the storm is around you.  Do things that keep you sane.  Don’t let it faze you.

With that in mind, let’s uncover the approach to take to successfully restore your marriage….