Step 2: Release the triggers
He’s been a complete a-hole. Yes I know.
He’s not been showing up as a husband, he’s been neglecting you….
People might even think that you’ve got an amazing marriage, when in truth it’s a shambles.
You probably want him to know how the way he’s been acting has been unreasonable, cold and hurt you and the family. You probably even want to “get your own back” too.
You probably want him to apologize for the wrongs he’s committed and want him to take responsibility for his side of his vows.
Here’s another truth bomb…..
At this stage, he just doesn’t care. He’s associated so much negativity with the relationship that he’s created a barrier to protect his feelings.
Whether or not his behavior is right, or even if you think he is wrongly unhappy about your marriage, there’s nothing you can do about it right now.
So you must LET IT GO.
Your marriage is beyond arguing about who’s wrong or right now.
In order for you to be effective in fixing the marriage, you need to release the hurt, release the anger, and the frustration at what he’s doing.
Whatever’s happened has happened, and dwelling on those things will not help you advance.
I’m not saying you should ignore his crappy behavior or put up with it. What I am saying is you must not let it trigger you.
You need to tell yourself you can handle this. Remind yourself that this too shall pass.
Only when you truly stop focusing on the triggers, frustrations and what’s hurt you, can you then have the free mental capacity to create the marriage and life that you want.